I have met quite a few fellow patients going through treatments very similar to mine. One thing I have noticed is the ones who are on the pain "patch" and oxycodone are walking around like zombies. They are all hunched over, don't say a word to anyone, and their spouses keep talking about how mean they have become due to all the meds. Now, I would love to have a good excuse to yell at Denise, but I'm really more concerned about the other drawback of the pain meds....constipation! I haven't been taking the pain meds when I probably should because of these two issues. I figured the less I take, the quicker the recovery will be. Denise has been pushing me, with the Dr's, to up the pain meds. This leads us to Saturday night and the devious plan Denise rolled out to ensure I take the medication...
It's 12:30am and I wake up for my multi night excursion to the bathroom. I unhook the pump, head in to the bathroom, and prepare for a quick hit. I look down and the water in the toilet seems low. First thought is one of my 'princesses of the pottie' stuffed too much paper in and we are clogged. So a quick calculation is done using the following information:
100% - Chance that the toilet is clogged
5% - Chance that it will unclog itself when I flush
95% - Likelihood I will need the plunger which is downstairs to fix the impending disaster
12:30am - Time at night and I am bloody tired
Quickly reviewing these items tells me that it is 12:30 at night so let's flush and hope! WRONG decision!
So I'm now running downstairs with my feeding tube bouncing all over the place. I run and grab the plunger and shoot back upstairs. Gotta beat the flood, gotta beat the flood, gotta beat the flood!!!!
I run into the bathroom and plant my left foot on the ceramic tile floor that is now under an inch of water. Let's review this sentence. 240 pounds running and planting onto a submerged piece of ceramic tile. You may all see where this one is heading in a hurry. I stepped about 2 feet into the bathroom, went horizontal and airborne until my foot hit the far wall and I crashed in a pile onto the floor. I landed flat on my back, thank goodness kept my head up, and the crash woke Denise up. I got up and plunged to get the toilet to stop and then threw a bunch of towels down with Denise. Once we finished picking up the water, Denise looked at me, smiled a crooked smile, and said, "you might want to take your pain meds now". She's good. She's very good. Checkmate.
Fortunately I woke up with nothing more than a bruise and a stiff neck. Could have been worse if I hadn't been on this new diet plan that shed 36 pounds off me last we checked.
The good news is we are running out of time for things to happen to me. Always a silver lining behind every cloud! I am writing this Monday night August 5th. I have 6 radiation treatments left and one chemo treatment tomorrow to go through. Then the long recovery road begins. YES!!!
Denise told me a great story I'd like to share about me oldest daughter Corinne. They were out running errands Friday night. Denise asks her where she would want to take a vacation because we want to do a family trip together since this summer has been so bad. Corinne, without missing a beat says, "well, I know Daddy doesn't feel good, but I've been having a great summer!" You have to love the honesty. She's been with her friends and cousins throughout this so when you look at it that way, I guess she is having a blast. That makes me feel great. Denise and I have always stayed upbeat with them and they have been great through this whole thing.
Quick update on the reason I started this blog. Time for a Cancer update. Last week was my best as far as how I have felt. Some ups and downs but the blood sugar being under control has been huge. No more weak knees, dizzy spells, nausea etc.. Like a rollercoaster however, you can't have an up without a down just around the corner. Friday night my throat started hurting and by Saturday afternoon it was the most severe pain I have felt when trying to swallow. It was expected and I knew it was coming, but boy did it come quickly and with a vengeance! So now it's the pain patch on one arm and oxy every 4 hours to boot. I'm on my way to the store for a gallon of prune juice....remember my second fear...
To wrap up this week I need to give an incredibly heart felt thank you to all the Pan Mass riders I had the privilege to cheer for this week. And most specifically to one of my dearest friends who was riding it, Mark Buron. Mark lost his mother to Cancer some years ago and he and a group of his friends ride this each year and have the names of family and friends on their t-shirt. I hate to say it, but I made the shirt this year and couldn't be more thankful to them. I went to the church off of Old Post road in North Attleboro. I was cheering on the riders when I saw Mark and his friends approaching. Dave Hughes was with him and I have met Dave several times. Another really great guy. Unlike prior years that I've gone to greet them either at the finish or at the church, this time really meant something tome personally. As I watched the riders go by, I couldn't help but flash back to the PMC murals at the hospital, the amount of money raised by the Challenge which goes to Cancer research to help kill this bastard of a disease. I was definitely feeling somewhat emotional when I finally saw Mark riding up and he pulled to the side to say hi. That's when my emotions overcame me for the first time since I started treatments. Everything just came rushing in. The babies getting treatment, the wonderful people at the hospital and what they do day in and day out, the children, the breakthroughs, the cures and treatments available today due in large part to people like Mark that do these things to raise money to fight the fight. Just as he was riding up to say hi I recalled something Dr. Haddad said to me on the first day we met at the hospital. I discussed it in my first blog. He asked if I had any questions. I said yes, am I going to die. He said no. But more importantly we discussed the 50/50 odds the prior doctor shared with me. He said 5-10 years ago that would have been true. We have come a long way in 5 and 10 years due to research being done. This is due to Mark and people like him who do what they do each year and each day to get ready for the ride from donations to training. Without these efforts I could easily have been a coin flip away from being a statistic on a report but on the wrong side of that report. While I am a long way from knowing if this disease is cured in my specific case, the odds that I have now are astronomically better due to what all these riders are doing. Simply put, I lost it. I tried to pull the weather in to the conversation to cover it but it didn't help. All I could picture was 50/50 on one side of the tug of war rope and 90+ % on the other side with Mark's team on that side of the rope pulling with every fiber of their being. Thank You Mark and your entire team. God Bless every one of you that take this challenge on. Please know your efforts are appreciated by patients, nurses, doctors and those touched by cancer every day.
Thanks for the support everyone. We are almost into recovery mode which has 2-3 weeks of what the Dr. called today the most challenging time of the process before it gets better. Please stick with me. Your support means everything.
Cheers
mark
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