Monday, March 3, 2014

A long delay in updating my blog...but for good reason! March 1, 2014

For those of you that have stuck with the blog and have been sharing in the adventure, I apologize profusely for not updating you.  In my last post I mentioned I was going in for my first full scan since the treatments, and I got the results.  The results of the first full scan were....oh wait, a twist first about how I learned the results...

Denise and I head in to Dana Farber to meet with all the Dr.'s including the surgical oncologist to learn if:

A.  The treatments worked
B.  The treatments failed
C.  The treatments worked BUT I need surgery to remove any lingering issues in the lymph nodes

We get to Dana and they take all my vitals.  Down another 7 lb's.  You know in hindsight thank God I had trained for these treatments by bulking up so much.  It paid to fatten up!  After that I get summoned to the principles office to go see my phenomenal team of Dr's.  Denise and I head into the room and Dr Haddad is already there.  Hmmm, well that's unusual, we are always brought to the room first and he arrives shortly after.  Radar goes off for the first time, my heart gets a couple butterflies and something just doesn't seem right to me.  Dr H says hi and asks how I'm feeling so I say fine, and he says good, and I say 'well, I'll know better in a minute right' as I wait for the results to be told.  So at this point I have a bad feeling because they were waiting for me to come in.  That was the short jab, then comes the knockout punch.  Now remember, if I haven't said it in the blog please believe me when I tell you that I had 0 concern during the treatments that it would not be effective.  I mean literally 0% chance of failure was my true belief.  I owe it to the Dr's at Dana for giving me that perspective.  Dr Haddad and Dr Margalit couldn't have had more of my confidence than what they had.  So you could imagine my reaction when Dr Haddad's opening comment was, 'so we will schedule a follow up in 4 weeks....'  The ... represents the rest of his comment that I didn't hear because my heart just came out my throat.  I looked at Denise and she was looking at me like "what just happened???"  Clearly my expression wasn't well hidden because Dr Haddad's eyes lit up and he said 'didn't you get the results already?'  I can't remember if I shook my head, said the words no, or just stared blankly at him in disbelief but he got my point immediately.  He said calmly, "Mark, the results were excellent.  The tumors are unrecognizable at the ......"  Here the ... represents the rest of the sentence that again I failed to hear because at this point I could have walked on the clouds.  He thought we had received the results prior which we hadn't.  I apologized for having defecated on his floor and shook his hand.  Boy, talk about your highs and lows in a very short period of time.  I knew they wouldn't fail, I told them all along I had no concern and I was right all along. 

It's now March 3rd and I have had two follow ups with the Dr's where they stick a camera up my nose and down my throat.  Which leads me to mention one thing here, I have to be careful not to disparage Dr Haddad because he could easily make my day really disappointing with this contraption.  I know Dr Margalit has read my blog but I'm not sure if she'd tell on my or not.  Of course what makes this a non issue is that these two people saved my life so they can get away with more than the typical person and stay on my good list!

From a health standpoint I have nothing to complain about any more.  Not saying I don't complain as my family and friends will attest to, just that I'm thrilled with the early results and the minor issues I have now are nothing in comparison to the feeling I had for those 15 seconds (which felt like a month's time) when I first thought it may have failed.  My fingers constantly feel like they are numb and tingly, and the taste buds are slow in coming back.  I am exercising again, (ran 2 miles yesterday which for me is good) and by again I mean for the first time in my life, eating a little more now that ever and really looking forward to a great summer with family and friends. 

For those of you who didn't know the results and maybe thought the worst because I didn't update this, I'm sorry.  For those of you at Dana including staff, nurses, Dr's, and everyone who made it so bearable, thank you, thank you, thank you.  For family and friends, your support was beyond belief.  I know I didn't deserve it, and as my sense of sarcastic humor returns some of you may regret supporting me, but you made a mark on me that will never go away and I thank you more than you will ever know.

I have 2 years of scans to go before we are out of the woods on this.  I will do my best to update the blog and I honestly hope none of you reading this EVER have to write a similar blog. 

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